Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Sex Drive

I am really starting to wonder why I see an Extenze commercial every two-and-a-half minutes every time I turn on my T.V. Is it a desperate attempt to get confused, impotent men to waste their money? Or maybe it really works, hence why they have been able to spend so much on advertising? Or maybe it's a sign from the Gods, laughing at my puny peeter? I really don't know.

And what's more, they now have Extenze commercials en Espanol. That's right. On the Spanish channels (Unfortunately, there's TWO of them.). I really couldn't get much from those commercials, but from what I gathered, Extenze makes you "mas grande."

I wonder what type of "grande." Is it like Taco Bell "grande?" Do I get a drink with my order of "grande?" Do I at least get to play the uber-cool "catch a quarter" game that they have in the stores, so I can possibly win a taco or bean burrito? No? Oh, well.

So, in case you haven't noticed (I didn't until a couple of days ago, seeing as I was trying NOT to notice), there's a new season of "Real Chance of Love." I guess they're making this because we didn't get the fucking point in Flavor of Love 1 and 2, four seasons of Rock of Love, I Love New York 1 and 2, and the other stupid-ass season of Real Chance of Love, where Chance pulled a shocker on us in the finale and turned homo on us.

Don't give me that " oh, the crazy ways of the heart" bullshit. If you have two hot chicks in front of you, and you don't want to fuck either of them, you are gay. End of story.

Seriously, that's at least TEN seasons of VH1 Reality shows about the same thing. Yet people still tune in, even though it has become as interesting to me as changing my socks (Actually, it was that interesting from the beginning).

It's amazing what these stupid sluts do to get a "semi-celebrity's" dick in their mouth. As long as the camera is rolling during the oral sex parade, everything is gravy.

These chicks are going after guys who are known solely because of the fact they managed to get themselves on a shitty reality T.V. show. Really? At least have some decency and stalk Orlando Bloom or something. For God's sake, Real and Chance are fugly. And stupid as hell, too.

But we are even lower than them because we choose to watch this.

Has our level of intelligence dropped so much that all we want to see is people fucking or dying? Is that what really grips us?

It is all your fault, Youth of America. Your sex drive rules everything in your little world. Just stick your schlong in the same-shaped hole. Most of us had a game with the same concept when we were about two years old, except it involved a circle, a star, and a square.

Why do we not crave to learn more, like the generations before us did? Oh, wait, I know. Because we're preoccupied checking our MySpace every minute-and-a-half to see if we got any new comments, taking an hour break every week so we can catch the new episode of Real Chance of Love.

I've come to realize that the stupid shit has got us so constipated that we really don't know what "smart" is anymore. Today, "smart" means double-bagging the garbage so it doesn't leak, or buying a big-ass remote so we never lose it, or using a fucking Sham-Wow.

You look at music today and it's the same thing. The songwriting is more predictable than my morning bowel movement. All of it is triggered towards horny teenagers, telling them to fuck whoever, whenever, wherever- regardless of the consequences.

I look at the retards that surround me, and it's no wonder that Palm Beach County is one of the biggest hot-spots for AIDS in America. Stupid, arrogant guys who think only with their dicks and complete sluts, who let guys do as they please to them and screw a bunch of people just because their friends do it too.

Shit is out of control. A few days ago on the news, I saw a story about a pregnant twelve-year-old girl that is missing. Everybody else in the world must have thought "Oh, that's so sad."

Not me. Only one thought screamed out at me: "WHY THE FUCK IS A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD PREGNANT?"

I was just starting to figure out what the hell sex really was when I was twelve. I probably hit puberty maybe two years before that at the most.

Really, young people. Can you answer me one question: When did it become the status quo, or "cool" seeing as you're probably too dumb to know what "status quo" means, to be completely uneducated? The stupidity that we've reached goes beyond the word "uneducated." It needs to be filed under "retarded."

Please help me out with this one. I'm too confused and upset. I'm going to sleep.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Alive

A few nights ago, I found myself sound asleep and entranced in the sweetest of dreams. The kind of dream that will make you think for a week solid, but in a good and constructive way. The kind of dream in which everything is so vividly clear to you, so tangible. This is real life.

Unlike other dreams, I could feel everything. I could feel my adrenaline rush, feel the physical effects of it as the goosebumps ran down my arm. Feel the wind whip around me as I rose upward into the air.

Flying is such a common subject for a dream, maybe because it is one of our biggest wishes. But there was nothing ordinary about this dream. My mind was completely alert. I could feel my thoughts, could sense them running through my brain, could use them. I could control where I flew with my mind. I could use my thoughts to change the immediate environment around me.

However, if my thoughts strayed, everything would go awfully awry. I would spin out of control as I flew, the weaher would become opaque and ominous, and I felt a sense of fear so tangible that I coul feel my heart race and the sweat drop off of me. But when I once again believed that I could fly to my desired destination, I started to glide smoothly and on track again. I was completely happy and contented.

When I awoke from this dream, it felt as if a part of me had died. As the day trudged along, I began to realize that I had felt more alive in this dream than I have at any time in my entire life.

But it made me start to think: What if I could change everything with my mind? Change even those around me just by switching my mindset? Have the ability to make everything and everyone better.

Then last night I watched "What The Bleep: Down The Rabbit Hole" and it pushed my curiosity of this subject even further. It had an example that showed two different crystals that had been made from water from a waterfall. One was left to crystallize normally, but the other, a Chinese priest placed a blessing of love on it. Lo and behold, the crystal with the blessing of love on it turned out to be way more beautiful as opposed to the one with no blessing on it, which appeared to be dull and mundane.

And then, the movie presented to me the best idea that I had ever heard in my life: "If our minds can do that to water, imagine what they can do to ourselves."

Right then, everything changed for me. Everything was figured out. Everything turned around. My thought process, how I lived my very life. I saw how the negative environment which I had become so accustomed to reflected my views, which ultimately resulted in my all-too-frequent negative outcomes.

They say you are a product of your environment, and it's so true. But I feel that it is also true that our environment can be a product of us.

The conditions of our environment which we have believed to be true for our whole lives bring us to develop our addictions, which can ultimately destroy us. Everybody is addicted to something. Mostly everyone, at least. Anything can be an addiction, anything that we depend on to make us contented except our own peace of mind and life itself. Whether it's drugs, food, our beliefs, the need to feel loved, or the need to feel significant or insignificant. Our addictions do nothing but provide us with the feeling of a monsterous ego or a sense of crushing inferiority. Whatever addictions we do have, all I know is that they provide us with our much desired and sought-after comfort zone.

But it's when we break this idea of a comfort zone that we see what life really is: our thoughts and decisions.

I began to realize that life is nothing but a choice. From the day that we are born, we are thrown into the front lines of a battle to overcome the obstacles and roadblocks which are presented in front of us; no matter how great or how small. A battle to eradicate all enemies which stand in our way, enemies which present themselves in the form of our own personal demons. And our choices dictate whether we win or lose the battle.

We wonder why miracles happen. We attribute it to the supernatural and divine, a gift from "God." But in reality, miracles really happen because we choose for them to happen. Because we know that they will happen.

Just remember, if our thoughts can physically change water, just imagine what they can do for us.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Stimulus Sack

Bordeom consumes every fiber of my being. I'm trapped in a land of other people's boring ass video games and the Spanish channel. My friend's grandmother just goes to any place where there is two or more people in the house and yells at them in Spanish. I, unfortunately, happen to be around another person, so I get to listen to Screamfest 2009 en Espanol.

Why the fuck do people play Fable? From what I see I'd probably be in so much pain after an hour of gameplay that I'd be forced to pull one of my own teeth.

So in my overwhelming boredom, I will compose another post. Not like I have anything better to do. All my friends suck so I can't go and smoke some weed.......

And that brings me to my topic: Weed.

In this failing economy, one product continues to sell at breakneck speed- marijuana. And that must surely provide hope for our politicians, who are worrying themselves away with bailouts and stimulus plans, right?

Wrong. When Obama was presented with the question "Are you going to legalize pot?" he laughed. No words, no reply, just laughter. One of the biggest political questions in America and he felt it didn't even deserve a response.

For Christ's sake, it's not like we're trying to legalize heroin to make it available to children everywhere. And even if we were, our government has beat us to it: it's called Oxycontin.

I, however, have a brilliant idea. To make up for this nonsensical spending that the dear folks in Washington feel is necessary, legalize marijuana. Make it into a product that can be sold at any 7-Eleven nationwide to those 18 and older, and put a hefty tax on it like you do with liquor and tobacco. This tax will generate more money for our national budget, not to mention the money that we will be saving seeing as we don't have to worry about fighting the drug cartels that import weed into the country seeing as the legalization of weed will take their legs out from under them. I know it will work.

Why do I know it will work? Because it has in the past.

Up until the middle of the Great Depression, alcohol was illegal. This, my children, was called "Prohibition." It was terribly expensive and extremely risky for those who wanted alcohol to get a hold of it. Why? Because the only people with alcohol were the mafia. Our government was wasting countless money trying to keep alcohol illegal and off of the streets. Does this sound familiar?

But then along came my hero, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, with an ingenious idea. He realized that people like alcohol, and that they couldn't afford to spend money keeping it illegal with all of the other things required in the American budget. Thus, he repealed prohibition. And what happened shortly after that? America began to climb out of the depression.

I think it's time for Obama to realize that people like to smoke reefer. People always have liked to smoke and they always will, no matter what laws you make against it.

It's also time for Obama to realize that by continuing to keep marijuana illegal, he is putting power in the hands of the true criminals. The drug cartels, the mafia, the crooked and often prone to violence street dealer. If we legalize it, we can pump money into the economy, eliminate frivolous spending, drastically reduce violence on the streets, and keep the American people happy. Isn't this a win-win situation? Wake up, America.

Unnecessary Praise

Well, it's 4:30 in the afternoon. Time to start a new day.

And as I begin this new day, one nagging question comes to mind: Why is the military and death always glorified?

And even more importantly, why are so many people infactuated and obsessed with it?

The youth of today can't get enough of their first-person shooters, where they portray military heroes ridding the world of the ever-present threat of terrorism. And we wonder why more and more recruits continue to join.

I have a very good friend who plans to join the Army. He is going to be a tank operator. And this deeply saddens me. More and more of my friends keep joining the armed forces to have their heads filled with bullshit.

I walked by the Armed Forces Career Center by my neighborhood (It's amazing how they give something so grim such an upbeat and positive title.) and I noticed that the first thing that I saw was a big sign that said "UP TO $40,000 SIGN ON BONUS!"

Thanks, Uncle Sam, for giving me whereabouts of what an average American earns in one year to put my life in the line of danger and watch my friends die in front of me for the interest of corporate moguls.

And that's just the beginning. What they fail to tell you is that that sign-on bonus is taxed so heavily that you'll only see about a quarter of that. You're better off working at McDonald's. There, you can still collect your ten grand and not have to worry about anyone trying to blow you to bits with a car bomb because they don't like the job you're doing.

So my friend who wants to be a tanker, let's continue on that. In order to get them motivated, they give them some music to listen to. The inspirational song that's played while you're "killing terrorists," most of which happen to be innocent civillians who we are supposed to be "liberating," is "Bodies" by Drowning pool.

If I knew that I had sunk to the point that I was killing people while hearing "Let the bodies hit the floor!" being screamed at me, I'd probably kill myself.

Another thing you're not told about when you sign on is the Stop Loss Program.

The Stop Loss Program was created to do exactly what it says: prevent the military from losing soldiers that it needs in a time of war. This means they can extend your obligation as long as they want, turning your four year obligation into as long as a forty-year obligation.

And if being a soldier is something to be so proud of, why have over 10,000 committed suicide? These soldiers are so emotionally distraught over the atrocities that they've committed that they feel the only way to make amends for it is to kill themselves. And all over orders they were given.

I just wish things would be portrayed with a greater sense of reality. That the facts would permeate through the bullshit. The fact of the matter is that we are not heroes. America has blood on its hands, blood of innocent people. And we are going to pay for it, whether karmically or the other countries get so fed up with our shit that they give us a taste of our own medicine.

I know that us Americans have always been prone to feel self-righteous, whatever we do is right, it's our Manifest Destiny. But put aside the bullshit ideal of patriotism for a moment and you begin to realize that we are in a nightmare. Except in this nightmare, the death and destruction is real, and there is no way to make amends for it. We've destroyed the Middle East so much that even if we left now, they would feel the repercussions for decades. We are going to pay for this, and unfortunately, it looks like we will pay with our blood.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Leverage

Before I begin, let me start with a disclaimer to let you know that satire is my forte of writing. That, and poetry when I'm really stoned. This is rather serious and explanatory, so forgive me if it absolutely sucks.



So I'm starting this blog because I care about the American people. Scratch that- I care about the whole world. I once heard a saying that went a little something like this: "My country is the world and my religion is to do good." I'm hoping that by starting this and speaking my mind in my community, maybe more people will start to feel this way. Unfortunately, all of about four people read any of my other blogs and I also have a generic and mundane title, so I'm not off to a good start.



More and more frequently as things become full of more and more gloom in the country and the world, people are looking for leverage. We've acquired a defense mechanism to make us feel that we are better than every other Joe Blow in the world around us.



One of the main defense mechanisms is religion. Every religion states that you must believe in that religion alone and none other in order to reach the afterlife. The afterlife, is apparently pretty sweet tits from what the so-called "holy books" of every religion states. Whether you're walking streets paved in gold or you're up to your eyeballs in virgins (on a side note, that actually has to really suck if you're a woman), you have earned it by believing in that religion and only that religion.



Those who choose another religion, or just plain choose not to believe in any religion period, are sent to a world of torture. Why? Because they are evil, sinners, usaved, the damned.



Money is another weapon in our defense arsenal. Money rules everything in this country. If you have it, you live the American Dream. If not, then you're living the American Nightmare.



Those who don't have money, we view as bums, low lives and beggars. And those with money are always more than willing to flaunt what they have in the face of a bum. Willing to put them down for their own pursuit of happiness, although it is more of a pursuit of survival. Isn't it uncanny that the wealthy and those with the most ability to help the world around them do the least?

And finally, we have image. The worst of all. Image can be it's own seperate entity or a combination of the other defense mechanisms thereof. We have become so image conscious that we fail to see who people really are, we fail to see who we really are. Those who don't have the look that we desire or have assets to boast their class are immediately shunned and shut out of our minds before we even get to know what they stand for.

And that my friends, is why nothing is getting done. There is power in numbers, and until we abandon this inherent need to feel better than those around us, we will not get these numbers. It seems like all of us are so willing to bitch about how fucked up the world is around us, but we never join with those who feel the same for some reason. Why? Because we see that we are smarter, wealthier, have different religous beliefs.

We are so consumed with these petty fights that we don't see the real picture. Don't we all want a world where everybody can have what they need? People around us die because we live in such excess. If we can really start to think of the adage "Live and let live" and what it really means, only then will we see the hypocrisy of the beliefs we were raised upon. And that is where I will start off on this crazy train which is my new blog.